Oblivious

Do you ever feel as if a lot of people seem oblivious to the world around them? Oblivious to the fact that their actions (and inactions) and words have an impact on others? That they just don’t seem aware of that as they go through life?

For instance, take drivers who don't use their turn signals or who speed through neighborhoods without any regard for the posted speed limit or who generally drive as if they are the only ones on the road.

Or, take those who are shopping in a store or who are at a crowded social event or in a movie theater and are always talking on their phones or bumping into others because they’re generally not paying a bit of attention to anyone around them.

Take customers who don’t want to wait their turns while in security lines at a busy airport or in a grocery store checkout or at an amusement park ride, and try to skip ahead in line without regard to who is waiting in front of them. 

Or, in a different scenario, are those who can’t help but spar back and forth again and again and again over their political differences. We saw one exchange on social media before we began writing this blog in which increasingly negative and personal names were called and idiocy was assigned by one to the other with the other assigning it back. Neither of the two people involved were respecting the other’s feelings, experiences, or beliefs. The cycle of criticism and disregard became more inflamed as the stream of arguments grew longer and more pointed, and as others began weighing in, too. We’ve seen far too many of those.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

In that public forum, not only were the two who were arguing tearing each other down - not changing either's opinions or minds about their beliefs - they were dragging down anyone else who read what they wrote. They were sucking others into a cesspool of negativity and a growing vortex of hate.

The fact is, each of us by our very existence, affects other people as we walk through this life. Our words, our actions, and our reactions, affect others more than we often know. It is truly important to always keep that in mind and to ask ourselves: Are we helping to make the world a better place? And: How are we influencing those we encounter each day to feel better about themselves and the world around them. 

Every one of us are human beings first - with feelings, hopes, dreams, hurts, insecurities, tremendous gifts to offer, and imperfections that could be improved. We all want the same basic things - to be safe, to be respected, to be fulfilled, and to be loved. So many of us put up facades and pretend to be strong and confident and to have the answers figured out. And, we are those things more of the time than we realize. At the same time, we are not always strong or confident or certain of all the answers. It’s part of being human. 

It is in recognizing that, that we are all simply (some more easily than others) just trying to make life the best it can be in the midst of its many challenges and disappointments. When we can recognize that all of us are not merely our facades and exteriors, but complex, mutli-facteted individuals who are more alike than we are different. That understanding can soften our roughest edges, blunt our harsh critiques, and minimize our unrealistic and rigid expectations of others. It can help us to judge more graciously, care more deeply, and regard with respect the possibility that each of us is trying to rise to every occasion the best we can. That understanding forces us to stretch ourselves in empathy, take risks to trust one another more, and react with deeper kindness and compassion towards one another.

If we can be open to seeing one another’s common humanity first - and caring about how we positively and negatively may affect others - what a difference it can - and does - make in and around us. It will diminish our obliviousness and self-obsorption, and give us eyes to see one another in a brand new, more positive and caring light. And in that light, if we begin to really listen to one another, too, what a difference it all will make. 

We are not meant to travel through this life all alone, only thinking about and caring about ourselves. It is by regarding and recognizing the humanity and connection with caring friends along the way, that the journey is made so much more fulfilling and better for us all.