Bittersweet Moments: Something's Lost, but Something's Gained

Life’s transitions, both large and small, often - if not always - are bittersweet.

We hear so much about these feelings that accompany so many transitions. Here are just 25 of them that are bittersweet:

1. A child going away to college for the very first time.
2. The start of a new school year.
3. The end of a school year.
4. A job that has ended voluntarily or involuntarily.
5. The death of someone close to us.
6. The end of a vacation that was especially good.
7. The end of a holiday that was particularly meaningful.
8. The end of a marriage, even if it was toxic.
9. A valued friendship that diminishes over time. 
10. Those you love moving away.
11. A milestone birthday.
12. A reunion where aging and loss are very visible.
13. A respected leader whose position ends.
14. The loss of autonomy.
15. The loss of health and ability.
16. The loss of dignity.
17. Your children or grandchildren growing out of stages of growth and life that you adored.
18. Your child gets married.
19. The birth of a baby and the changes it brings.
20. The end of a favorite sports season or TV series or book.
21. Saying goodbye to someone significant whom you won’t see for a while.
22. Giving up driving.
23. The end of an especially meaningful project or event.
24. A graduation. 
25. The death of a pet.

These are simply some of the things we hear about. But there are so many more. Life is filled with these moments. 

When have you had bittersweet feelings? 

Those feelings are all legitimate, we hope you know. Everyone of them. Transitions generate them. With change and the passage of time, we gain new knowledge, opportunities, and experiences. But we also lose people, relationships, and abilities, along with them.

“Well, something's lost, but something's gained, in living every day”, as Joni Mitchell famously sang in her classic song, “Both Sides Now”.

With every loss, there can be something gained. With every gain, there can be something lost, too. In living every day, we find these words to be so true. 

There is a bittersweetness to life. Even when it’s wonderfully good. Every day, there are feelings of sadness, wistfulness, longing, as we live and love and have our being, in this life we share together. All of us have these moments, no matter how good life may be. There are sorrows amidst the joys, tears amidst the laughter, challenges amidst the successes, deaths amidst the births, uncertainties amidst the certainties.

“But now they (the clouds) only block the sun, they rain and they snow on everyone”, “Both Sides Now” intones.

And it’s okay to acknowledge them, to feel them, to express them - the clouds that so often get in the way. In fact it is good, the path to healing. To give voice to those feelings with safe people - which we hope we are - is to find out that we are not alone in those feelings, to learn that we all have them in our own special ways. It is to remind ourselves that we are connected with one another in more ways than we may know. And that is good. Just having the gift of unburdening ourselves of the darker, too often unspoken realities that we all share, and learning that we do all share them, is what can calm and reassure us, and bring to us more light that can illuminate our way through the passages of time that we all experience with each new day of life we receive. 

Photo by Deleece Cook on Unsplash