To Be Happy

Isn’t it what we all want? To be happy? 

To be pleased with life? To have hope in life? To give love and feel loved in return in life? 

No matter who we are or what we do professionally, where we live or why we choose to connect with others in our lives, we all want happiness, contentment, joy, goodness, and peace.

These are some of the most basic needs and desires of human beings.

But why are so many of us unhappy so much of the time, discontented, joyless, focused on the bad, and not at peace. At times all of us can feel those less-than-great feelings.

It’s a common dilemma of the human condition. 

Happiness seems elusive. It comes and goes. Sometimes it feels as if it’s not coming at all. We struggle to keep happiness in our lives. We strike out too often in our pursuit of the happiness we yearn to have. We humans are not flourishing as much or as well as we could as a species.

Best-selling author and social psychologist Jonathan Haidt has written a book - The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom - that explores how ancient philosophical and religious insights align with modern psychological science to explain human flourishing and how we can flourish so much more in our lives. 

The book examines many aspects of our lives that affect our happiness, including - automatic emotional reactions, human connection, hypocrisy, the “golden rule”, human love and attachment, trauma and hardship, moral virtue and character, spiritual experiences, deep engagement in work, and alignment with something larger than ourselves. Ultimately, it asks an eternal question: 

“How can I live a meaningful life?”

A life which is marked by happiness. 

It is believed that at least 50% of our baseline level of happiness is determined by our genes. We cannot control our genes. But we can attain higher levels of happiness in our lives, despite our genes. We have the ability to control how we react to our circumstances, our environment, and understandings of what happens to us. The part that isn’t genetic can be developed to embrace a more compassionate love and empathy for ourselves and one another, which can certainly contribute to our overall happiness. 

It is found that humans naturally mirror kindness as well as hostility. What and whom we surround ourselves with can make a huge difference in how we view life and our role in the world. If we can genuinely develop a greater sense of compassion and empathy, we can experience healthier and more satisfying human relationships and connections. It is those connections that give meaning, purpose, gratitude, and joy to our lives. The healthier and better those connections are, helps to make our lives happier and better. 

In the end, above all, Jonathan Haidt proposes that to have a happy life these qualities need to be foundational for each one of us:

• Surrounding yourself with the people we love the most, with each of us striving for mutual benefit and satisfaction in the relationships. 
• Doing work that matters to us, work that makes life more enjoyable for ourselves and others.
• Finding partners who will stand by our side through good and difficult times.
• Allowing ourselves to be part of something greater than ourselves.

Good human connections are absolutely at the core of living a happy life. Love, light, contentment, hope, and gratitude for the people and the joys in our lives are instrumental in bringing us levels of happiness that make our lives good and worth living. 

It is in embracing the common good for us all that brings the most happiness to all of our lives.