Who Do We Want the World to Be Better For?

Early on, as Someone To Tell It To was getting established, we were at an event to introduce ourselves to the larger community around us, when a curious man we had just met asked this question: 

“So, you will meet with and listen to anyone who reaches out to you?”

“Yes”, we replied. “ We believe that everyone has a right to be listened to, to be better understood.”

The quizzical and seemingly skeptical look on his face after our response implied to us that he didn’t believe that was possible or was necessarily an admirable value to have. It seemed to us that he might believe that not everyone deserves to be heard and valued. That not everyone is worth our time and energy to listen to. Maybe our perception was wrong. But the vibe we were feeling felt like skepticism. 

Over the years, it wasn’t just that one man who gave off a feeling that not everyone is deserving of being heard. We definitely live in a world in which so many people are degraded, discounted, and disregarded. It’s a common human reaction, sadly, to those who are different from us. Whether it’s because of their skin color, country of origin, accent, religious beliefs, economic and financial status, educational background, occupation, sexual or gender orientation, political stances, physical attractiveness, or any number of other measures, we can easily judge others as not being worthy of our regard.

A core value of Someone To Tell It To has always been - from the very beginning - that everyone matters and has a story to tell, even if it’s a very different story from our own. We believe that we can learn from the differences, are stronger when we can find common ground in the differences, and are better for it when the differences are incorporated and often even celebrated into our common lives together. 

Just because someone is different, has had different experiences from us, or thinks differently from how we think, doesn’t mean they are wrong or not worthy of consideration or dignity or respect or being known. 

Fred (Mister) Rogers was famous for saying:

“It's much easier to love someone when you know their story.”

We believe that to be true. We believe it because we have experienced it as we listen to others’ stories. 

Often, when we know another’s story, judgment can begin to turn into empathy, caring, and respect. When we learn what others have gone through, overcome, or are still grappling with, we can begin to understand where their fears, opinions, and attitudes come from. 

When we can begin to know someone below their outward surface, we can begin to see a vulnerable and sometimes scared human being. We can begin to connect with them on our common fears, hurts, losses, frustrations, insecurities, and difficulties. We can also connect more deeply with them on our common joys, dreams, hopes, interests, humanity, and loves.                                                                                                                     

We find it to be true, over and over again, that there is so much more that unites us than what divides us as human beings. Yes, we will certainly not agree on everything and will always view some things in different lights based on our different experiences and backgrounds. But just because there are many surface-level differences, does not mean that underneath it all, inside of us, we are not human beings together with much more in common between us than what is uncommon between us. We all go through challenging and painful times. We all have been disappointed and disregarded. We all have been misunderstood. We all have been treated unfairly. We all have loved and lost something, or someone precious and dear to us. And we all just want to be known as someone of value in this life. We all want to be loved, in the end. That’s the ultimate bottom line.                                                

If we all would have this belief, that everyone is in this thing we call life together - and at our core we simply need and want the world to be better and want to be loved in this world - we might strive to care about and for one another in more kind, generous, forgiving, and considerate ways. 

If we all would have this belief, that we are only as strong as the most vulnerable - the most forgotten, disregarded, disadvantaged, or disrespected - among us, perhaps all of us could live lives of greater empathy, connection, and joy. 

If we all would have this belief, that everyone deserves a better world. Our work is to help everyone we have the ability to help - and to do it without discrimination, without judgment, without disrespect, without regard for their status or labels or experiences. Because when we hear their stories, that give us insights into why they go through life the way they do, we can see and feel and connect with them in ways that help us to want the best for them, just as we want the best for ourselves. It’s not a win-lose game we’re playing for sport. But it’s a values system in which everyone has the ability to win at having a good life - of being treated with dignity, respect, and love. 

If we want the world to be a better place, who among us do we want that for? Those just like us, who look like us, talk like us, think just like us? Or is this better world for everyone who is a member of the human family, everyone who shares our human DNA? For us, it’s not about choosing winners and losers, those who are in and those who are out, those who are worthy and those who are not.

Instead, it’s about making the choice for everyone to win, everyone to thrive, and everyone to be able to be their best selves. Yes, it can still be hard when we disagree with aspects of people’s lives or don’t share the same values and perspectives. But that doesn't mean we don’t try to find the common ground and work toward making certain that everyone receives what they need to have a better life - the best life possible - and opportunities to hear and feel and know that they are valued and loved